


Be My Emergency

by Itsadeathwishmom



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drug Abuse, F/M, Mentions of Rape, Sexual Situations, Suicidal Thoughts, Yes this is a het gerard fic sue me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-14 20:02:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5756410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsadeathwishmom/pseuds/Itsadeathwishmom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Gerard meets the lead singer of the up and coming punk band The Catalysts, he is taken with her instantly. But she's got baggage of her own, can they hold each other up, or will they just end up tearing each other down?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>TW:This story does contain graphic sexual situations as well as mentions of rape, drug abuse, self harm/mental illness. If these things trigger you, please be careful reading, I will tag the specific chapters that have these situations</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gerard is a drunk punk... again

hurled over the nearest trashcan. I had been to many a punk show, had gotten drunk at many a punk show, but this one really got out of hand. Ever since 9/11, I couldn’t remember a night where I hadn’t gone out and gotten hammered. How long had it been since then? A week? A month? I looked down at my watch, October 1st. Had it only been three weeks? Before I had time to contemplate the tragedy further, I once again released everything inside of me into the can, collapsing on the ground.

A pair of twiggy arms tried to pull up my husky 22 year old body. “Gerard I’m not putting up with your shit tonight. I have a test in my econ class in the morning” I managed to focus on my younger brothers face amongst the spinning of the room. He was wearing a beanie, hiding his greasy hair, his glasses sliding down his nose and almost off his face, but Mikey didn’t reach up to push them back, he wasn’t letting go of me,his big brother. I nodded my head, letting Mikey pull me up. I remembered why I brought him out in the first place, to see the show. Instant guilt filled me. How many times would I ruin things like this for my brother? I felt him try to pull me through the crowded room. By now I was sober enough that I could walk on my own, so I patted his back to let him know I was okay. He looked at me sympathetically, like one looks at a stray dog he gives his leftovers to. We walked home in a comfortable silence, until Mikey broke it.

“Gerard I’m- Gerard I’m.. concerned” He stuttered, pushing his sleeves around his hands.

“About?” I could hear my voice come out of my mouth, congested, slightly slurred. God I was a fucking mess. I ran my hands through my greasy hair. When was the last time I had managed to shower?

“You. Not because of tonight, well yeah kind of because of tonight, but mostly because of…”

“Because I quit my dream internship and moved back home and haven’t stopped drinking since those fuckers killed thousands of innocent people?” i smirked a little, knowing I had read my brother's mind.

“Yeah. I know you're dealing with it the best you can dude, but uh, you’re not really dealing with it at all. I know you don’t want to go to a therapist but I think-”

“Mikey, I’m fine. Dr. Anderson prescribed me a new prescription last month. I’m not fucking depressed dude” I swayed, turning him towards me on the dimly lit sidewalk. He was taller than me now, my baby brother, the college freshman.

“I just think you need something to take your mind off of what happened. That’s not alcohol” He looked embarrassed to say it, and I was certainly embarrassed to hear it.

“I’ve got Natalie too…” I rambled, trying to use the girl I fucked every once in awhile but didn’t really care about to get him to let it go.

“We all have a Natalie dude. And you know you don’t give a shit about her, so why pretend? I just… I just want you to take this guys phone number-”

“oh so you think a dude will take my mind off of all my shit?” I spat.

“Not like that man, goddamnit just listen to me okay? His name is Matt. He’s a drummer I met a year ago in a comic shop okay? You said when all this first happened that you wanted to save lives, to change things for the better. Just give this guy a call. My friend Ray said he was interested in joining a band that wasn’t a fucking ska band”

“He’s still in that fucking skate park band?”

“Unfortunately” my brother laughed under his breath. “I’m serious Gerard, I believe in you” He looked at me, his heart breaking behind his eyes. How could I say no.

“Alright dude, I’ll hit him up. I’ll even try writing a fucking song or something. Just know that I only give a shit because of you” I mumbled. Mikey smiled at me, pushing his glasses up his nose. We walked home the rest of the way in silence.

I woke up the next day, head pounding, room spinning, nothing new. I looked over on my nightstand and saw that I had slept in until eleven again. Sighing, I stood up. I was only in my boxers and undershirt, but nobody was home, so I was free to roam the house. I got downstairs to try and find something to eat. On the fridge were two phone numbers written on a napkin.

“Don’t forget!

Ray- 347-925-8866  
Matt- 347-878-6523

-Mikes”

I groaned, remembering my promise to my brother. Begrudgingly, I picked up the house phone near the fridge and dialled Matt’s number. It rang for so long I considered hanging up, but then a deep voice answered.

“Yo this is Matt whats up?” I was shocked at the chipperness.

“Uh hey Matt this is Mikeys Brother Ger-”

“GERARD FUCKIN WAY HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU?!” This guy sounded like if i had been standing in the the same room as this guy he would have picked me up and swung me around.

Laughing I answered “I’m uh, I’m doing alright man. I called because my brother wanted me to see if you would be interested in joining our band” Mikey wasn’t going to get out of this one so easy.

“I didn’t know baby mikes was in a band” Matt bellowed.

“Yeah, crazy right” I smirked,

“I thought you were with Cartoon Network now?”

I grimaced “ I, Uh, I was in the city when the twin towers fell, and I , I couldn’t really justify going back and doing bullshit commercial art after watching people die. It just wasn’t right. I’ve felt called to this for so long and I think I’m ready to give it a try now. I think I’m ready to fight the good fight, you know of not for myself then maybe for someone else” I pulled a cigarette out of the box I kept in the kitchen. I wasn’t suppose to smoke in the house but what my mom didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

“Man, I’m sorry. Fuck If I had known you’d been there I would have called or something. Shit” his voice was suddenly serious. “Gerard, I want in. I’m tired of smoking weed in my parents garden shed. Let's make something happen man” We talked about inviting toro in on the project , when we would get started ect.

I didn’t get drunk that night.


	2. Or should I walk by again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard meets Stella and is probably a big mess
> 
> title taken is from Love at First Sight by the Brobecks

A couple weeks later we had had our first band meeting/demo recording at the eyeball records house. Some friends of Matt’s helped us out on that connection. The lineup was me singing, Mikey on bass, Matt on drums, and my personal triumph, Ray on lead guitar. Getting Toro to join hadn’t been hard, but just knowing he wanted to write music with me lifted my spirits considerably. He was the best guitar player I knew, and I wasn’t letting him go. I was waiting in the studio on a chilly October afternoon when a loud crash came from the kitchen.

“Aw shit” a heavily accented New Jersey accent followed. I got up to see what was going on, only to come face to face with a small man, probably about 5’2, trying to clean up an ashtray that had broken on the floor. He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes, dreadlocks masked most of his face, and a dopey smile.

“Man I’m sorry” He sniffed

“Its fine, not like its my house” he looked at me and burst into a fit of giggles

“Shit man you’re right!”

His laughter was contagious, and I found my self doubled over along aide him. Eventually we pulled it together and sat up straight.

“My names Frank. I haven’t seen you at the house before, are you guys a new band?” He took another drag of a cigarette he had started.  
“Mines Gerard, uh yeah actually we are! I’m waiting for the rest of the guys in my band to show up. Are you just a friend of Jeff’s or are you in band?” I questioned.

“I’m in a little punk group called Pencey Prep”

“Aw shit yeah I’ve been to a show of yours before! I really dig your guitar playing-“

“Not my signing?” He smirked, knowing he couldn’t carry a tune. I wasn’t quite sure what to say, because I couldn’t bullshit this kid.

“I mean-“

“Hey don’t feel bad, I know I can’t sing to save my life, I just haven’t found the right fit for a band yet” he shrugged, finishing his cigarette, stomping it into the ground of the linoleum kitchen.

“Well if you ever want to jam with us, we’re a guitar player short. I can’t play guitar, so we only have one” he seemed to mull this over as the front door opening revealing my other three band mates, who Matt had been in charge of picking up.

“Dude, you met frank!” Mikey yelled as he pushed past me to give the small stoner a hug. Frank giggled as Mikey engulfed him, his tall gangly figure overtaking the small pudgy man.

“You guys mind if I sit on your practice session?” Frank asked. How could I say no him? He had such a calming air about him, just really chill. It might have been the pot, but this dude seemed really cool.

“Yeah absolutely!” I realized I hadn’t introduced him to the other member he didn’t know.

“Frank this is Ray, our lead guitarist, and matt, out drummer” frank waved at both of them, seeming to get shy when he realized there were strangers around. We all must have been at lease five years older than this kid, so I could see where his intimidation came from.  
“It’s nice to meet you guys. Hey, I hope you don’t mind, but my cousin Stella is dropping by to lay down a track and hang out for a while, I hope that’s ok?” Frank seemed to be scared e would reject the idea, but all of us perked up a little at the idea of a girl coming by. “She’s really cool I swear, she’s in her own band in fact, they are all recording after you guys I think” the guys and I nodded to each other, trying not to give away that we were excited at the prospect ofa girl hanging around with us. As dudes who hung out at comic shops and spent our time playing Dungeons and Dragons, girls weren’t usually on the dance card.

With promise of chick, we all moved to sit on the couch in the basement to warm up our instruments and get ready to record our demo’s. Frank followed ray around, asking about his equipment and technique, Mikey and Matt talking about parts they had worked out on the phone, and I sat on the couch trying to not have a full on panic attack at the thought of singing in front of all these people. What if I wasn’t as good as the rest of the guys? What if they decided on the spot they didn’t want to be in a band with me?

In the middle of my torrent of anxiety, we all heard the back door slam.

“Oh that’s Stella” frank mumbled, getting up from his crossed legged position. He jumped up the stairs to greet her.

“Frankie!” We heard the girl yell.

“Yeah Yeah I’m coming stells” we heard some talking, him explaining that there was a rag tag group f losers in the basement probably.

The door opened and we all turned to see frank entering, with probably the most beautiful girl I had ever seen following behind.

She had shoulder length ashy brown hair, against pale skin and striking blue eyes.Her build wasn’t skinny, but she definitely wasn’t fat, like me. She seemed to hold herself like she was ready for someone to jump out at her at any second. She scanned everyone from right to left, her eyes landing on me last, and a smile spread on her lips, revealing straight teeth that were coffee stained. She was wearing a smashing pumpkins tee shirt covered by a giant hoodie,, and ripped blue jeans. I felt myself staring at her for too long and noticed she was speaking.

“I’m Stella! Frank was just telling me you guys were in a band and recording with Jeff??” She looked from each of us, and we all seemed to nod our heads. We were all slightly taken aback by how pretty she was, but she didn’t seem to notice, or if she did she wasn’t bothered by it.

I managed to open my mouth and make words come out “Yeah, We’re My chemical romance, I’m Gerard, that’s Mikey, my brother, Matt our drummer, Ray our guitarist.Mikey plays bass”

“Um dude when did I say we could use My Chemical Romance as our name???” Mikey finally squeaked punching me in the arm.

“Yeah we all kind of voted on using it when you weren’t here” Matt mumbled..

“I was saving that name!” I rolled my eyes.

“I think it’s a damn good name. Ours is the catalysts. I’m the singer” she smiled at me “I’m assuming you’re the singer for My Chem??” She gave me a curious look to which I only nodded my head.

“Do you guys mind if I sit on your practice?” She was so polite? How was she from the same planet as any of us?

“Yeah no problem” we all agreed to some form or another, but I could feel the tension in the room escalate. We had barley let anyone listen to us, let alone a cute chick. This was going to be stretch. I sat back down on the couch, looking down at the book of lyrics I had set down earlier. I opened it up and started reviewing the song we were recording first, Skylines and turnstiles. As I was soundlessly mouthing the words, I felt a small body sit next to me and begin to lean near me. I looked up Stella looking over my shoulder reading the lyrics.

“Do you mind?” I jokingly snatched the book away from her.

“Actually I do” she giggled, reaching over me and grabbing the book out of my hands. I felt mouth drop her boldness absolutely intriguing. Who was this girl?

She read the pages with the lyrics for skylines on and then began flipping through it. I held my breath; scared she would look up at any second and laugh in my face. In stead, she very sincerely handed me back the book, looking up at me with knowing gleam in her eye.

“This is really good Gerard, do you know how good this is?” He whole face began to light up. “I haven’t even heard the guys play yet, but I want to write a song with you guys. This shit” she held the book up “is something really special” she smirked and pushed the brown journal into my chest, which I grabbed, accidently holding my hand over hers, which caused my cheeks to heat up. I looked away from her intense blue eyes, and cleared my throat, moving my hand out from underneath hers. I looked back to up to realize she had no idea the power she held over me, much less any boy. She was completely unaware of the light she gave off.

Before I could make a fool out of myself by continuing to stare at her, Jeff walked in and gathered us all up into the glass room made for recording. I refocused on why we were here, even though it was hard with a very attractive girl in the room.

“Ok, so we’ll lay down rays parts first then, we can either do Matts or Mikeys, whatever you guys prefer, and then we’ll lay over Gerard’s part, sound good? This is only a demo to present to Alex, just so he gets a feel for what were recording. We’ve got about four hours until Stell’s band comes in and is laying down a couple parts” We all turned around and waved at the small girl, who waved back. “So lets get this started!” we all separated, ray grabbing his guitar, and the rest of the guys going back on the other side of the glass.

“I’m going to go grab some snack, you want to come with me mikes?” Frank asked. Mikey shook his head, all of us shouting something we wanted at them. I sat back down on the couch next to Stella, matt sitting next to Jeff.

“So how long has your band been together?” I asked, trying to make sure I wasn’t leaving an awkward silence between Stella and I.

“About two years. We’ve only been seriously recording and playing since I graduated this year”

“I just graduated art school! Where did you go?”

“Oh I just graduated High school. Frankie and I are the same age, so we commute everywhere. We’ve been like best friends since we were little” I nodded; kind of surprised she wasn’t older.

“Why not be in a band with frank then?”

“I’m in an all girl punk band. As stupid as it sounds we’re trying to make a statement, like ‘We don’t need a cute boy to be successful!” She seemed to be embarrassed.

“That’s badass!” she glowed at my approval

“Thank you! Most guys just kind of laugh when I say that”

“Nah, I’m a feminist, always have been. My grandmother really drilled that into me and Mikey when we were younger, that girls could do anything boys could do and probably better”

“I like your grandma!” she beamed. “So how did you go from art school to rock band?” She crossed her legs under her, her eyes boring into me.

“It was always something I wanted to do, I just never had the guts to do it I guess. Then I was in New York when the towers went down and I just though ‘Fuck if I don’t do this now, I’m never going to be happy” I couldn’t believe I was saying any of this, but something about her made you want to spill your guts. She gently placed her hand on my arm.  
“I am so sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine what seeing that must have been like” I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She was enchanting.

“As horrible as it was, something good came out of it. I got brave enough to do something that could help people. I still love art, but this band… it could change things for someone you know?”

“I know exactly what you mean. That’s why I always wanted to do music. I was in theater for so long and I wasn’t helping anyone, It just was such a waste, I wanted to take over the world and this is the way for me to escape from everything and do that I guess” There was more behind that, but I was too enthralled with her to push. We obviously both had problems and secrets, but I could tell we would be friends long after this encounter. I just had that feeling. I had never felt at ease with a girl as I did in this moment.

An hour passed, and everyone else had played his parts, and now it was my turn. I nodded at Stella, to which she responded by grabbing my hand and pulling my arm, I turned around and she said, “Don’t be nervous, it’s not as scary as you think. You actually sound better in there” I felt my self breathe a small sigh of relief as she let go of me. I walked in to the room and donned the headphones. Before I knew it Jeff was giving me the thumbs up and the pushing of the guitar, the loudness of the drums was ponding through my ears.I let go, I let go of the pain that I had been holding up for a month, I let go the fear, the prejudice. I let go of those nights wasted with Natalie, drunk out of my mind. I felt the emotion leave my body, I put everything I had in me on that track. When the first cut was over, I pulled the head phones off my head and opened my eyes. Everyone was smiling, and Stella stood up and clapped.

“Gerard, I think we got it” Jeff buzzed in, a smug look on his face. I walked out of the room and was greeted by pats on the back by my band mates, and then fast moving small body slammed into me, pulling me into a hug. She knocked the wind out of me, but I looked over her shoulder at the boys, who all smiled a knowing smile at me, ray even thumbs upping me.

“Oh my GOD! You said you were a singer but the emotion! Your sound is so unique. Gerard we have to sing together!” She let go of me and was almost jumping in excitement. I laughed, her youth shining through. I hadn’t seen anyone this ecstatic about me since my grandmother after peter pan, and honestly, it felt completely amazing.

We were all sitting around talking about when we wanted to come back in for the second demo, not having enough time to do it today, when we heard the door open. Stella perked up, jumping up and running up the stairs. “Sorry guys the girls are here be right back” she shouted as she ran.

I watched her as she went and turned back to a group of expectant faces.

“What” I asked

“You totally like her” frank pushed

“Frank I don’t even know her-“

“That doesn’t matter! You are totally into her. You couldn’t take your eyes off of her.You’re lucky she’s so insecure or she would have noticed it was so obvious” He seemed to glide over the insecure part, as if it was so normal it wasn’t something to be worried about.

“Dude we could all tell you were into her. It’s fine she was really hot. I can’t wait to see the rest of the band” The other guys nodded their heads in agreement with Matt.

“Oh they do not disappoint” frank laughed

“Are you dating any of them?” I asked frank

“Oh no, I’m in love” he stated matter-of-factly “In fact, she should be with the girls” He got up at this realization, and walked up towards the chatter that was coming from upstairs. We all looked at each other weirdly. He wasn’t dating any of them, but he was just in love? What the hell was that suppose to mean.

No longer had the thought crossed my mind was an adorable black headed girl running down the stairs “Frank can you let me live for five seconds without confessing your love for me?” the girl turned on him as he followed behind her

“I jut don’t want you to forget” he whined

“How could I? You don’t let me go one encounter with out letting me know” she feigned annoyance, but I could tell she secretly enjoyed the attention. Frank just sighed, still staring at her.

“I apologize for this nerds rudeness, I’m Jamia, and I am NOT his girlfriend” she looked at frank during the last part, sticking out her hand to each of us, each man muttering his name, afraid to cross the loud women.

Just then Stella reentered the room, followed by three very attractive girls, two with brown hair and one with a striking pink pixie cut. The two with the dark hair were obviously twins, and the one with the pink hair was striking, totally the opposite of Stella’s type of beauty, soft and endearing.

“Guys, this is my band, Pinkie is Rachel, and the twins are Janet and Sandy” she pointed to each girl, the three all waving shyly at us, they seemed older than Stella, but more reserved. It was obvious she was the lead singer for her personality.

“So I get to hear you sing now?” I turned to her

“Yeah! GUYS, you have to hear their demo! They are so fucking brilliant! We have to write a song with them!” Stella grabbed my arm as she rapid fired at the girls. They seemed used to her enthusiasm, especially Rachel. She let go of my arm, and Jeff reentered the room with some tapes from upstairs.

“Ok girls, I’ve got the parts from last time, are we ready to lay down the final vocals and then Rachel can go and lay down her harmonies?” The minute Jeff brought up the music, Stell’s whole composer changed. She was serious, focused. She didn’t acknowledge anyone else in the room as she entered the small glass room, putting on the same headphones I hade worn earlier that evening.

Jeff played back what they had so far, with scratch vocals on this track. Even these samples were fucking amazing; how girls this young were kicking this much ass was unbelievable.

“Ok Jeff, I’m ready” she said into the microphone after a couple listens. He put on the regular track and she took off. I’ve never heard someone sing like she did. Her voice was light at the beginning, but had this intensity behind it that was astonishing.

“She’s really good huh” Rachel came up next to me, beaming. “We’ve been best friends for years. I’ve never seen her so excited or ready for something in her life like she has been with this band” she seemed to be saying it more to herself than to me, but I nodded my head

“She seems like she’s never not acted that way” I observed

“She puts on a good face” Rachel said this absentmindedly, but I noted that this first impression was only one facet to this girl. Rachel was beaming the entire time, as were the twins. These girls had a deep love and respect for each other. I could only hope my band would grow to feel the same way.

After her first take she had Jeff rewind it to places she didn’t like. She spent another hour almost redoing the whole vocal part before she said, “I think that’s as good as its going to get” she sounded almost disappointed.

She walked outside, Rachel passing her giving her a squeeze on the shoulder.

“That was great! I mean I didn’t expect any less” I smiled at her.

“Yeah it was alright” the shift between the girl I had met and this girl was weird. I realized she wasn’t just a perky ball of energy. She thinks she did poorly.

“No, it was incredible. Not to mention your attention to detail. When I first heard it I thought you were done, but the way you fixed it, its spectacular” she looked up at me, finally revealing a blush, a bashfulness.

“Thank you” she almost whispered. She then went and sat with Jamia and leaned on her shoulder, watching Rachel do her harmonies. She would get up every five minutes or so and tell her a critique, which usually would earn her a middle finger, but they seemed to work very well together, all of them did.

“Hey guys, I’m fuckin beat” Jeff yawned. we realized it was around seven, and he must have been doing this since early this morning.

“Yeah, we’ll get out of here” I shook his hand, the guys all following suit. The girls all hugged him, and then we mad our way out of the basement.

Outside the house everyone was saying goodbye, and Stella came up to me to say “Hey Gerard, we’re playing a show tomorrow night at the bar on abbey street, I’ll pick you up if you want to come” she seemed hopeful, her breath looked like smoke. She had a beanie on now, framing her already round face.

“Yeah that sounds great!” I said, maybe too enthusiastically

“Maybe if you’re not busy tonight we could work on something, a song or I don’t know” She seemed to take my enthusiasm for tomorrow as a good sign, letting herself indulge in the idea of writing something tonight. I had never seen someone so eager to hang out or work with me, especially not a girl.

“Yeah! I’ll drop mikes off at my parents and we can meet at your place?”

“Works for me!” she gave me a quick hug and ran off toward her car parked on the side of the road. Frank was already loaded in, and he said something that earned a smack from her. I laughed as I jumped in my car with my brother.

“So I guess Natalie is history?” Mikey smirked

“Shut up” I mumbled, trying to keep the hope from invading my chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day! I'm trying to finish the third today. let me know what this needs, what you hate, what you love.
> 
> xo char


	3. Wow, I can get sexual too!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is drunk and morally confused
> 
> (chapter title is a say anything song, sorry max)

I dropped Mikey off at our house and told him I would be back in a while. He only rolled his eyes and shut the door to the car. I felt myself speeding down the street, the address she had texted me told that she only lived five minutes away. When I pulled up to her house, all the lights were off except for the top room, which I guessed was hers.

I walked up tot the door, but before I could knock she swung it open.  
“Hey” she whispered. Her eyes were shining, she had changed out what she had been wearing before, and I felt my eyes scanning her as I drawled out a similar hey.

“I was waiting up for you, my mom gets weird when people ring the door bell” she seemed to be rushing me in as she closed the door behind us. I followed her up the stairs. When we reached the second floor we passed a cracked door where I saw a little boy reading a comic book by flash light. She had hurried past his room, but made a complete 180 and hung on the door frame as she whispered at him.

“Davey, why are you still awake?” 

“I’m sorry sissy, I couldn’t go to sleep. Who’s your friend?” he questioned. The little boy couldn’t have been more than nine years old.

“This is Gerard, we’re going to write some music together. Go on to sleep sweetie, I love you” she gently closed his door as he turned of his flashlight indigently. She turned around with her back against the door, just staring up at me with her huge blue eyes. “That’s my baby brother, Davey” she whispered. I shook my head as we moved up another flight of stairs.

“No one can hear us up here, trust me” the look she gave me was a sultry one that made me thinks she meant something a little more on the sinister side. My face must have revealed this, because she slapped my shoulder and said “Oh my god not like that” she laughed, but didn’t explain what she meant, so I let my mind stay there.

“Are your parents home?” I wondered

“My moms asleep down stairs, my dad is…” she paused, not sure how to explain, “My dad is out” she left it at that, clearly not wanting to elaborate.

We messed around for a bit, but we ended up mostly talking about what music we liked, so she turned on a couple records until I made myself leave. I found my self falling asleep, forgetting that anything existed before today.

 

Stella’s POV

Gerard was cute, like really cute, like hang out with him everyday until he got sick of you cute. I was completely taken with him already, and he was completely oblivious. We had seen each other everyday since we had met, whether it be hanging out on my roof so we didn’t wake up my mom and brother, or in the studio, helping the other band records, we became inseparable. He came to my show the next day, and every show we had had after that, but I kept bugging him to get up on stage.

“Come on Gee” I pushed his arm “You have to get up on stage sometime. I promise it’s not as bad as you think”. We were sitting at the park halfway between our two neighborhoods. The sun was shining through his dark hair. It was almost December now, Thanksgiving was tomorrow. We both were bundled up, but I wanted his hand to be keeping mine warm. I pictured him scooting close to me, putting his arm around me and kissing my beanie clad head, taking off our gloves and intertwining our fingers, staring into his bright golden eyes. I blushed imaging the scenario, hoping he didn’t notice.

“That’s easy for you to say! You’ve been in theater forever and you went straight into preforming onstage, two months ago I was hidden away in cubicle where no one could see me. Just how I, and everyone else, like it” he turned his face down.

“Don’t say that, everyone else likes to see you. How are you going to keep your adoring public at ease with an attitude like that?” He looked up at me, one eye closed as the sun hit his face. He did that half smile he did which made me melt.

I had never been in love, ever. I had never looked at by a boy and knew he wanted me forever, no matter what. I know that that’s kind of improbable for kids my age, but at least that feeling of being limitless, I’ve never had it. Until I met Gerard a month ago, I felt like an old women who had given up on love, cynical and independent. But now I felt like maybe this man who lived in his mom’s basement and didn’t have a lot of contact with the outside world might be warming up to me, and maybe I was warming up to him too.

“Thanks Stella. Who was around to boost my ego before you?” I smiled and placed my hands underneath my chin. 

“I don’t know, Natalie” I poked fun at him. He groaned, pulling his hands over his face and leaning back on the grass. I had known Natalie because she had graduated with my older sister, so I knew how gross she was. “At least you have standards now, and keep better company” I gleamed.

“Ok enough of that” he pulled me down next to him on the grass. “Do you want to go back to your house and eat pizza and marathon star wars?” He asked, turning to look at me. I smiled, but felt my mind rush immediately though my checklist. Shit, my dad was home…

“Lets go over to your house, my parents are weird about people being over late so close to the holidays. Plus Mikey could watch with us, and we could invite the other guys. Oh we could invite the girls! WE COULD THROW A PARTY IN YOUR BASEMENT” I jumped up, trying to pull him with me, but I only slid back onto the grass butt first which earned a laugh from him. Good, he hadn’t noticed I had totally saved him from coming over to my house.

“Sounds like a plan, a pre thanksgiving party. I’ll get the booze, you invite the people. Maybe I can even get my parents to evacuate the house and go to my grandparents for the night” He seemed to be perking up, thinking about the plan we had just hatched. We both immediately jumped up, both of us running to his car and grabbing our cell phones.

“Hey grandma, do you think you could invite mom and dad over tonight until tomorrow?” Gerard and his grandmother were close, so close he was able to call her up and ask her to invite his parents to spend the night with no explanation. The smile on his face told me that she was down to help us with our plan as he hung up.

“She’s gonna call them over, say she needs help getting the house ready for thanksgiving. Ok, now to get to the liquor store before they close at 6” we both looked at the clock which sais 5:35, he immediately started the car and sped off to the nearest place to buy alcohol. I started calling everyone I knew from the eyeball crew, until I ran out of people and grabbed Gerard’s phone and started calling. 

“Hey Frank, just wanted you to know there’s going to be a rager at the Ways, hangovers guaranteed which can only be cured by stuffing your face at lunch tomorrow. Be there at 8 and bring a snack and beer to share with the guests” Gerard laughed as I hung up with my cousin, the car finally speeding into the parking lot of the liqueur store.

The clocks now read 5:55, so we jumped out of the car, probably looking like a couple of bats out of hell. “Ok, we only have five minutes to grab the essentials” he shouted as he slung open the door to the Specs.

We both looked at each other and shouted “Vodka!” and split, grabbing two bottles each, then onto the whisky. I saw him grabbing to six packs of beer, amazed he could carry so much liquor in his arms. We set down everything on the counter at 5:59, the old man looking amused as he carded Gerard.

“You don’t need to see her ID?” Gerard asked insulted.

“I thought she was the older one, and she’ll stay the older one if anyone asks” we grabbed the enormous amount of alcohol and loaded the car up, now running to the grocery store to grab some party food. While we did this I called in about ten pizzas to the ways to be delivered round 7:30. 

Gerard’s grandma called him on the way home and told him his parents were already at her house helping her cook, and she hoped he wouldn’t be too partied out to come and eat lunch tomorrow, he promised her he wouldn’t be. 

We were setting up when the door opened, reveling Frank Iero carrying every chip know to man and two six packs. “What’s up!” he shouted as he sat everything down on the kitchen counter. The noise evoked Mikey to finally emerge from his room upstairs.

“What… what is going on?” he said sleepily, rubbing his eyes as he lugged down the stairs. Gerard and I both glanced at each other in our moment of realization that we had forgotten to tell Mikey.

“Hey Mikey, I forgot to mention were going to have a party tonight, so maybe you should change before everyone gets here in ten minutes” Gerard said gently.

Mikey looked down at his batman pajamas and quickly turned, rushing up the stairs, screaming and cursing Gerard’s name.

Just then the doorbell rang revealing my band mates, who seemed stoked to be at a house party since we don’t get out much. Rachel was eyeing Mikey as he exited his room, which meant she intended to make out with him, if not more tonight. I could tell tonight was going to be eventful. 

 

* Fast forward to 11 PM *

I remember Gerard’s band showing up, guys from the eyeball house, about three other bands, and then what must have been fifty people I didn’t know. I remember boys offering me shots, which I took. Gerard got me a vodka sprite, and then he went off to make sure Mikey was doing ok. He told me to stay near the kitchen. I wandered out onto the back porch, where frank asked if I wanted a refill, which I said yes too. Yes was the word of the night. The girl who had always said no wasn’t turning down anything tonight. I could hear someone plug in an amp get the band playing. It sounded like Thursday, but they were definitely covering Halloween by the misfits.

So party was in full swing, I’ve managed to have two drinks and not give away the fact that I’ve never been drunk before. I feel my head spinning as I start to drink my third vodka sprite, which has got to be a good sign in the drinking world.

With my father being drunk constantly growing up, it never interested me, until now. I was an adult right? I could make decisions like this without it effecting me long term right? I feel myself start to get anxious, what if I end up like my dad? What if this is a long road of abuse I continue. Just as I feel I’m about to have to run out of the yard due to sheer panic, someone grabs my arm.

“Stella, where have you been? Frankie said you were out here-” Gerard asks. He has a beer in his hand and obviously isn’t as drunk as I am. 

“Gerard, I’ve never been drunk,” I blurt out. He smiles and pulls my head to his shoulder, patting my head.

“Come on kid, lets go hang out in my room for a bit” he grabs a slice of pizza and puts his arm around me, guiding me down stairs. I was thankful I had his arm to hold onto because I was swaying way to much to walk anywhere by myself.

We got down stairs, and he closed the door behind us. I managed to slide down onto the floor without spilling too much of my drink, which he seemed to think was funny.

“Please don’t laugh at me I’m trying my best” I managed to get out clearly.

“I can see that” he said as he slid down next to me.

Gerard’s POV

“Gerard, can I tell you something?” 

“Sure Stella” She was so wasted, I felt guilty for letting her get this far gone, but at least there were people here to look out for her.

“I have so much to think about, and I just want to stop sometimes. Like sometimes I think about not wanting to eat all day and that just isn’t ok. That’s why I had to go to the hospital a few years ago, because my parents found out I wasn’t eating” she was slurring, and getting emotional. 

“Stella maybe this isn’t the time-“

“Let me finish” she held her hand to the bottom of my face, which made me smile under her hand. “I was getting worse again, I thought I was going to stop eating again. Things are… messy at my house, and I just couldn’t deal with it anymore. And then I started hanging out with you and the guys, and it made me forget how much was going through my brain all the time. It was like a mute button. But your words were like clarity through all the fuzz up here, like a fuzz pedal. You’re my fuzz pedal” she smiled, her droopy eyes staring into mine. God I wanted to kiss her, no one said things like that to me. I was going to respond, but she pushed off of me, and ran into my bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach into my toilet.

I followed her and rubbed her back as she continued the barf, but I couldn’t help but smile the whole time. She leaned back on me when she was done, her head on my shoulder. I helped her up, when I heard Frankie enter.

“We have a fallen solider” I said as I pushed her onto the bed. She wasn’t passed out, but she was down for the count. She groaned in response as frank started to giggle at her. Ray peeped his head around, followed by Mikey. Rachel was holding Mikeys hand, and it looked like they were looking for a place to make out.

“I’ve been looking for you!” Rachel stumbled down the stairs, finally reaching Stella on the bed. She looked as if her friends were on her deathbed and they were saying adieu. The sight was a dramatic, yet hilarious sight. 

“Rach, I think I had too much to drink,” whined Stella.

“I know babe” She rubbed her head. Jamia peaked her head around the door finally, trying to see why all of her friends were down in my weird ass basement.

Frank noticed almost immediately that she had become present, as if he had fucking radar or some shit.

He whipped his head around almost shouting, “Guys lets play truth or dare”

I was not drunk, not by any standards, but even in my buzzed state, I somehow thought this was a good idea.

“Sure” Even Stella was sitting up, eating the pizza I had laid on the bed in my haste to get to her.

We all gathered in a circle, a bottle in the middle. The room got quiet, it was dimly lit, and the music upstairs was muffled. If you walked in you would think we were having a séance. 

I could see Ray shift uncomfortably, while Mikey seemed to scoot closer to Rachel. I smiled at my baby brother. Stella was next to me, and Frank had shoved himself right next to Jamia. 

So we began, I spun it, and it landed on Rachel. “Rachel, truth or dare?” I asked.

“Dare” she stated, ready to take on her challenge.

“I dare you to wear a pair of my underwear on your head for the two rounds”

She rolled her eyes, as if she was disappointed that’s all I had for her. I pointed to the drawer they were in and she flipped me the bird as she dug around.

“Is it ok if I wear these?” she asked innocently holding up my bright pink Calvin Klein’s. Stella burst into giggles as Rachel donned them. All the guys were clapping as she paraded back to her spot next to Mikey.

The next few round went this was way, with most of them picking dare, and having to take shots, ray had to take off his shirt. At some point the twins joined us, and we were all steadily getting more drunk as whiskey was passed around throughout the rounds.

“Mikey, Truth or dare?” Stella asked, probably the most sober out of all of us at this point.

“Dare” he hiccupped immediately after the word left his mouth.

“I dare you to kiss Rachel, with tongue and everything” Rachel shot Stella a glance that could kill, but before she could react Mikey had planted his lips firmly on hers, asking permission before doing the “tongue and everything part” 

Rachel threw her arms around his neck and kissed him until they both split apart. Rachel abruptly grabbed his arm and dragged him to his feet as they both ran up the stairs, hollers and cheers erupting from all of us.

“On that note!” I swung the bottle around, it landing on Stella for the first time. “Stells, truth or dare?” my heart was racing. Why? Because in my inebriated state I had no idea what was going to come out of my mouth.

She contemplated for a while, before slowly drawing out “truth” She looked me straight in the eyes, as if she was begging me to ask a certain question. I could feel Frank and Rays eyes boring into me as I looked back at her. 

“Do you like… Where do you like to be kissed? Which spot turns you on the most?” I managed to save my self, trying to sound a little slurred as I pushed the rest of it out. She gasped and slapped my arm, squeaking in embarrassment as she began to blush. I can’t believe I almost asked if she liked me in front of every one we knew, while we were drunk, during a game of truth or dare. This was not High school, Gerard.

 

She covered her bringing face with her hands, and mumbled into them.

“I’m sorry I didn’t quite catch that?” yelled Frank from the other side of the room.

She moved her hands away from her face before almost shouting “I like when dudes kiss my stomach right above my underwear!” the whole room went quite, the girls all staring at her like they were in shock she would say anything like that, and the boys impressed.

“That’s fucking hot” If I had had any control over my mouth or my brain or my body at all I wouldn’t have said it. I would have quickly moved the subject away from her to save her the embarrassment, but I had to be an asshole and say something stupid. Her head snapped at me, a panicked look on her face. Her face was burning redder than ever.

“Oh my god please don’t ever bring this up again,” she begged, throwing her body dramatically on the ground, she was in tears, the alcohol finally making her fragile spirit break down. We all started laughing, which only made her more upset.

“See what you did Gerard, you made her upset!” yelled a very drunk Jamia.

“How could you?” Frank pretended to be insulted through his laughter. 

“You know, you should have to announce what turns you on Gerard” Ray couldn’t breath as he spoke the words. I felt my face heat up. I now understood why this was so horrifyingly uncomfortable, because conversations like this shouldn’t happen drunkenly and in groups with your immature band mates.

“No!” I almost shouted.

“Yeah, it’s the only way I’ll forgive you” Stells sat up, pouting.

I felt myself hesitate. “I love it when a girl draws blood, like with her teeth, on my neck” WHY DID ALCHOHAL HAVE TO MAKE ME MORE OPEN? I was cursing the whiskey I had drunk all night.

Stella was laughing out loud, and the other girls were just looking grossed out.  
“You would Vampire boy, oh my god” Stella drunkenly giggled.

“Are we even now?” I groaned finally making eye contact with her.

“Yeah we’re good” she squeezed my leg as she continued to laugh, and I had to close my eyes and concentrate on not actually popping a boner, right there, two inches from her palm, in front of all our close friends.

The game eventually ended after Frank had dared Jamia to go on a date with him the day after thanksgiving, which she rolled her eyes and said fine to.

The twins drove Jamia home around 2:30, most people had relocated to a club in downtown, and at least that’s what I heard. Rachel and Mikey were still nowhere to be scene, Ray was passed out on my couch. Which only left Stella and I. We both climbed back down the steps to my bedroom.

“I told my parents I was staying at Rachel’s,” she blurted out, holding her arms against her body.

“You can stay down here with me if you want” We were both still hammered, but I was trying to make sure I stayed within my bounds. Sharing a bed with her probably over stepped the moral code somewhere, but I just couldn’t care as she sat down, looking up at me with those piercing blue eyes.

“Can I borrow some clothes?” she stood up, staring me straight in the eyes, he body so close to mine. I could smell the alcohol on her breath, and I closed my eyes, getting drunk off just feeling her warmth so close to me. I opened my eyes again and shook my head, encouraging her to take whatever she needed.

She slid her body against mine as she made her way over to my chest of drawers, which elicited some kind of strangled noise from my throat. She looked back at me, but I managed to play it off as a cough. She picked out a shirt and a pair of my boxers, but what I didn’t expect was that she would look me straight in the eye and take off her shirt. Underneath she had on a black bra, nothing fancy. I couldn’t tale my eyes off her chest as she covered it with my iron maiden shirt from high school, from when I weighed more than I did now, the thing swallowed her and showed off how small she really was. She then slid off her jeans, sliding on my boxers. I knew she could hear how heavy I was breathing; she could probably see that I was getting hard through my jeans. She then climbed on my bed saying as innocently as possible “Do you want to change or are you going to sleep in those tight jeans?”

I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest as I took of my shirt, grabbing a random shirt from the drawers. I then took of my jeans, praying to every god in the universe that I wasn’t about to pop out of my boxers. I went around the other side of the bed, her drooping eyes following me around. She turned her back laid down, obviously ready to go to sleep. I laid as far to edge as possible, trying to be gentleman even though everything in me wanted not to be. She was more than Natalie to me.

Just as I thought she was falling asleep, she looked back, reaching for me, pulling my arm. “C’mere” she mumbled. I swallowed as I scooted closer to her back, spooning her with a good two inches between us. “C’merrreee” she whined, pushing her body into me. If she hadn’t already known I had a boner, she certainly did know. If she felt me hard against her, she didn’t say anything as she wrapped my arm around her waist. She then turned her face to me.

“Gerard?” she started

“Yeah Stells?” this was it. We were going to kiss, a months worth of sexual tension was leading up to this.

Both of our attention broke when the toilet flushed next door and Frankie walked out of my bathroom.

“Hey guys, I fell asleep puking in the bathroom,” he mumbled as he hopped into the bed, spooning me. He threw his arm over the both of us and before I knew it, she was snoring in my face. I have never actually felt physically violent toward frank, but if I could kick his ass, I would have in that moment.

How anticlimactic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so a little bit of a treat since I plan on drawing this out as long as possible. Let me know what you guys think!
> 
> xoxo char

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fic since I was like 13??? So be nice and comment pls!


End file.
